


baby don't hurt me

by texturexsurprised



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Except its painful, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texturexsurprised/pseuds/texturexsurprised
Summary: the premise goes as follow: killua confesses how being in love with gon makes him feel, but doesn't actually specify who he's talking about. no TW's!
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 5
Kudos: 93





	baby don't hurt me

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: texturexsurprised - i take requests on there! sfw/nsfw

“Killua,” Gon said, staring intently up at the night sky above Whale Island. The moon peeked out behind a cloud, light filtering through the leaves, casting the forest floor in a dim glow. “What do you think love is?”

Killua forced a chuckle. “You know we’re 14, right? We don’t have to worry about that. Not for a long time - not until you get a lot older and find some girl and turn into a bickering married couple.”

Those words were supposed to sound lighthearted, a small quip that he meant to tease Gon with. Instead, it left a bitter, acrid taste in his mouth, and he couldn’t help but wince. _Could he tell?_ Despite his expressiveness, he never let on if he noticed Killua’s slip-ups: the glances that lingered for just a second too long, the jealousy that would inevitably come out whenever they were around girls, his embarrassed blush when Gon lavished praise onto him.

“It doesn’t have to be the right answer. It just has to be yours,” he replied cheerfully, not bothered in the slightest.

_Maybe he really was oblivious._

Killua sighed, hesitating. “Alright. I’ll tell you what I think. But please don’t take me seriously, okay? I don’t know anything about this. Probably even less than you, since you’ve gone on dates and stuff before.”

He closed his eyes, praying to whichever god happened to be listening at the time that Gon really was as clueless about him as he appeared.

“Well, I think that love is basically where you’re just willing to sacrifice everything for the other person. And they’re the only thing that matters to you, you know? Well, maybe not the only thing but the most important thing. And you feel like you can’t possibly live without them, that your life is meaningless if they aren’t there,” he rambled. 

**_What was he doing?_ **

The words that spilled from Killua’s mouth felt so foreign, yet so familiar, as if the thoughts he’d carried with him for the longest time were finally being lifted off his shoulder. Even so, he couldn’t help but stumble and trip on his words, cringing internally whenever he said a sentence that was slightly more incoherent than the rest.

“So you’re willing to die for them. Or to die with them, or something along those lines. And if you’ve never been in love before, I bet it’s even harder because you feel like you finally matter to someone. Being in love is like someone telling you that every bit of you has worth, and not just the good parts, but the bad parts too,” Killua finished.

The writhing mass of emotions bubbling up from somewhere inside him was overwhelming, and he felt the unmistakable urge to repress it. He’d been trained to do that, anyway. This time, Killua wasn’t sure he could stop it. He sat there paralyzed, trying to swallow the lump of anxiety that had been lodged in his throat ever since Gon had asked him that question.

“So, Killua. Do you think you’re ever going to find love someday?” Gon asked innocently. 

Those words hit him like a gut punch. _I already have_ , he screamed silently. _I’ve already been in love. I’m still in love. How obvious do I need to be before you see that for yourself? I’ve been talking about you this entire time._

But that wasn’t what he said. His throat clenched, and he could feel the panic draining out of him. A numbness began to spread throughout his body, one that washed away the pain and anger, replacing them with a dull ache.

“I sure hope so.” Killua looked at Gon, a sad smile lingering on his face. “I hope you do, too.”


End file.
